.

I have chosen to be selfish so 2 weeks ago I accepted the low paying job that I wanted and I now detest it. LOL Damn it! Why is it that lately all my decisions are off the mark. I don't detest it because of the salary...I detest the culture and the attitude. I'm not saying that their culture is wrong...IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME. A lot of socialization during work isn't really a priority for me, meeting deadlines and having a well-made and not half-baked project is. I go to work to work and have fun. My idea of fun isn't going out  with officemates to make small talk or talk about other people and their faults and shortcomings, rather fun is being able to express my artistic self via my projects.

When I took this job, I was holding on to the thought that it'd be fun. That's the only thing I had to hold on to as the salary was minimal, the position is below my old position, I don't have any close friends ('cept for Che) and the place is far from my place. So, I had the "FUN" as my only foothold.

Ahahaha! Where's the fun now?

Where's the fun in being cooped up at the office doing the same thing I was doing before (and I wanted this job because it'll divert me from my old one...tough luck)? Where's the  fun in being left alone and your boss missing and not teaching you what you need to do? Where's the fun in being watched closely by your officemates and your eating in front of your desk during lunch (because of the toxic workload) is being taken against you? Where's the fun in having at most 3 hours of sleep in a day because you had to bring home your work because you have a really crappy computer? Where's the fun in having to spend your weekends working because of the unrealistic deadlines? Where's the fun in having a shitty workload that needs at least 3 people to finish it yet you are expected to do it on your own? Where's the fun?

Rey told me that my story reminds him of the movie Devil Wears Prada. Yeah, I made him watch it...LOL So following the movie plot, should I change and become a Social Butterfly to fit in and be happy, to be successful? I gave that a lot of thought and I've decided that it's a waste of time. Why change to something so trivial (yes, I find the constant talk of clothes, boys and other people too shallow) when I am happy with myself?

I may not be liked by everyone but I have substance. I'm like a ladybug...cute, not overly eye-catching but still beautiful in my own way. I  won't be forced to change to something lesser than who I am right now.

~~Signing out

MERR!QUE