.

I am not a religious person but I do believe that there's a God.

Fate and faith though, never did believe that it can go hand-in-hand. Fate you cannot change, it's bound to happen, period. Faith on the other hand, well, it's not concrete, you base it on your beliefs. One thing I know for sure is, you shouldn't let both rule your life COMPLETELY.

My religion is simple : God's plan for you depends on what you do in life. If you're good then good things come your way, vice-versa. Clear cut. The catch here is...knowing what is good and what is bad. ROFL It's like playing minesweeper, mines = bad things, numbers and possibilities will give you an idea where the mines are located...yet *boom*, you click on it anyway.

Sometimes you think that what you're doing is good or for the good of others and yet it still blows in your face. Then you realize after a while that you are doing the right thing but it's making you into a bad person. Am I making sense?

In my wanting to make life better for my parents...I worked my butt off yet it cost me a lot. Took away my time, my health, my principles, my temper, etc. Oh yes, for a while it was good to be able to provide a lot of things for them. Yet when it ended, when I am not able to provide anything aside from my company, my understanding or a pat on the back and the words "everything will be alright" then seeing the hope in their eyes even for a while or a smile to say "thank you for being here"--it was worth it, I realized that I needed this break. I needed to see and feel what I was missing or what I really should be doing. 

Anyway, too many realizations these past few months and somehow I can say that I've learned a lot...I always do. When will things get better? I really dont know. I will do my best to make it better...never did believe in just sitting down and letting faith or fate do everything.

For now, just go with the flow but I'm bringing my paddle so I can stir my boat to the right direction. 

Zinging Out~~

MERR!QUE

"Life gets better the more sh!t you encounter."